Chapter Fourteen

Zoisite!

Zoisite groaned, noticing as soon as he opened his eyes the intense pain in his head, Beryl's shrill mental summoning only making it worse. He grimaced, sitting up, the memory of what he had done the night before still strong in his mind. He could feel Kunzite's arm resting against his bare waist, the cool fingers tensed slightly on his abdomen and his much cooler body spooned behind him in a protective embrace. He frowned as he had to release himself from that slight warmth, dressing quickly and taking a moment to brush his hair out before teleporting to the throne room.

"Yes, my Queen?" He was surprised at how sickeningly sweet his voice sounded, not at all like a young man whose impulsiveness was about to get him into more trouble than it was worth. He managed to hide the pain in his head with a sly smile, bowing with flourish to Beryl and looking respectfully at the floor.

There was a pause, and for a moment, he wondered if Beryl was contemplating which way would be most prudent in killing him. He knew she wouldn't let the whole affair with Nephrite go so easily, and he still had to find the ginzuishou. He forced his gaze to remain trained to the floor, even though the curiosity as to what she was feeling was literally agonizing.

"I have recently come across some information that will help you in your search for the ginzuishou. It seems that I was correct in my assumption that the ginzuishou had been destroyed."

"My Queen?" Now, Zoisite was extremely confused. Beryl hadn't even mentioned Nephrite... and how was this possibly going to help him find the crystal if it no longer existed?

"A long time ago, Queen Serenity trapped seven of our finest soldiers in that silver crystal, and it was shattered into the seven rainbow crystals, the ninjizuishou. I want you to find all seven of these, releasing the shadow warriors from within, and when you find them all, the crystals will fuse together to form the ginzuishou. Do you understand?"

Zoisite nodded, his mouth dry, struggling to hide his confusion. So, he now had to find seven crystals instead of one? How was this any easier? "My Queen... how will I find them?"

There was silence again, and this time Zoisite chanced a look at the Queen before him. Her eyes were narrowed, her gaze strangely stoic despite her ferocious appearance. He could read nothing from her expression.

"If you use the crystal that you... acquired from Nephrite, the search will be much easier. The kurozuishou can sense and release the power of all seven ninjizuishou. It is only a matter of knowing where to look."

Zoisite stared at her, intensely angered by her emotionless expression. She should have at least felt a little anger at what he had done! And, for some strange reason, he wanted her to. He was rather proud of his little plan, and she hadn't even acknowledged it!

"Yes, my Queen." Zoisite started to teleport out, but Beryl stopped him.

"Oh, and Zoisite?"

"Yes, my Queen?"

"If any more of my generals are killed, it will be by my hand, not yours. Is this understood?"

Zoisite realized the weight of this statement. The only generals that were left were him and Kunzite. He scowled. "Of course."

He teleported away, frowning the whole time, and growled in frustration as he saw that Kunzite was not there when he reappeared. He needed his coldly beautiful lover right now, more than anything. Sighing to himself, he reached out with his senses and felt the warm touch of his lover's energy in Kunzite's throne room.

I wonder if I could possibly surprise him. Zoisite tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear, smiling to himself and teleporting out of the abandoned bedchamber to the place where he felt Kunzite's presence.

Kunzite was sitting at his throne, as he usually did when in that room, staring at something before him. It was almost like a video screen in thin air, slightly akin to what Nephrite had used to see his 'stars'. Zoisite crept up behind him, trying to stifle both his laughter and his presence from his lover as he approached silently from behind. He was only inches away now...

"Is there something I can help you with, Zoisite?"

Zoisite flinched as he realized that he had been discovered, but also at the biting annoyance in that voice. He had only heard it once or twice, and he frowned to himself as he wondered if he had somehow managed to anger the man he loved so desperately.

He wandered around to the side of Kunzite's throne, leaning on one of the side of it and crossing his arms as he pouted at the vision before him. It was an image of five young girls, all dressed up in the most inane outfits Zoisite had ever seen, the foremost of these a young girl with pigtails adorned with balls of hair that looked like some sort of fruit.

Zoisite snorted, eyeing Kunzite warily. "What, choosing a weekend date, Kunzite-sama? Should I be jealous?"

Kunzite glanced up at him, and then surprised him by resting one hand gently on the small of his back in a hesitant caress. "Hardly. These are the Sailor Senshi we've been hearing so much about."

Zoisite's eyes widened, and then he burst into hysterical laughter so loud that Kunzite flinched. He clutched his stomach, giggling at the idiotic image. "Those children are what have been giving Jadeite and Nephrite so much trouble? Oh, this is just too funny!"

Kunzite shook his head, but a wry smile broke out of his barrier of coldness as he eyed Zoisite with glittering gray eyes. "They are more dangerous than they look, Zoisite. Trust me."

"Oh, I do." Zoisite turned around, kneeling down next to the throne to nuzzle Kunzite's ear with his nose, and then kissing the line of his jaw teasingly. "But I hardly think they're a match for you, Kunzite-sama."

Again, Kunzite eyed him warily without turning his head, and then looked back at the image. "While your undying faith in me is flattering, I have to disagree. They are not merely children, Zoisite. These are the original Sailor Senshi, the ones sent by Queen Serenity to destroy us. Serenity may have been an unworthy ruler, but she was by no means stupid. They have fought us before, and were formidable even then."

Zoisite eyed the image skeptically. The figures were moving now, jumping into battle and babbling some inane speeches as they dodged various attacks but made no move to counter attack. They looked rather like headless chickens, in his opinion. "Oh, I don't know.... look at the leader; she can't even stay upright on both feet! And the rest of them are as inept as I was when I first came here, before that even! There are only four of them, and yet they cannot even defeat a simple youma!"

"But they have in the past. They have... help."

Kunzite suddenly shifted in his seat as a new figure emerged in the image, a man decked up in a black tuxedo and cape, wearing a black hat and white mask, breaking the attack of the youma with a single red rose. Zoisite raised one eyebrow; a technique which he had mirrored from Kunzite and eventually mastered. "Oh, how romantic. Who is he?"

Kunzite grimaced. "Tuxedo Kamen. In the past, he was known as Prince Endymion."

Zoisite stilled. The entire room suddenly becoming rather stifling as that name exited his lover's lips. That name... Endymion. ...an avenging angel in a black cape and mask...

It was him. That was the man who was eventually going to kill him. That man. That idiotic, badly dressed, walking talking afterschool special was going to be the cause of his death.

Zoisite felt his heart speed up like a triphammer as he watched the caped stranger fight. He was rather good...

"No!" Zoisite suddenly shouted, startling Kunzite, his face reddening with anger, "He won't be able to defeat me." Not now, not when everything is going so wonderfully! I won't let him take this from me!

He gradually realized that Kunzite was watching him with a rather concerned expression. He cleared his throat and sat up primly, straightening the top of his uniform.

"What was that little outburst all about?"

There... that annoyance again.

"I just... think he's rather mundane, that's all. I mean, a tuxedo? What, are battlefields and ballrooms indistinguishable to this guy or something? And what is with the speeches? He sounds like some cheap character on public broadcasting or something." He turned around and leaned forward again to capture Kunzite's mouth with his own, but the older general pushed him away.

"This is serious, Zoisite. They managed to destroy the youma that you used to kill Nephrite... and that was before the fourth joined them. That means that they are more powerful than him... and possibly more powerful than you."

Zoisite knew he should be listening in earnest, but the only thing he could think of was Metallia's prophecy; that this Tuxedo Kamen would kill him. It was preying on his mind, but more urgent was the desire to not let Kunzite see his fear, to keep his panic hidden lest Kunzite grow frustrated with him about it. And that appeared to be already happening, as Kunzite watched him with an incredulous expression.

He cupped Kunzite's cheek in one hand, bringing the other's face to his own, and kissed him gently, closing his eyes against the sensation. At that moment, the only thing he wanted... no, needed, was to be in Kunzite's arms, forgetting the prophecy and his duties and his fears.

"Make love to me," he whispered huskily, nuzzling the side of Kunzite's face again and leaning closer to him. Kunzite seemed to melt against him for a moment, returning the gesture as if responding unconsciously, but then he shoved Zoisite abruptly away.

"I have no time for this now, and you should be working out your own plans instead of trying to seduce me in the middle of something important."

Zoisite could only stare at Kunzite. He felt his face grow hot, his eyes sting with tears rather suddenly, and his breath catch in his throat.

No... he would not cry!

"Very well..." Zoisite stood up, not able to meet Kunzite's eyes; battling hurt, embarrassment, and overall fear and trying desperately to hide all of them at once. He reluctantly walked away from the throne, keeping his gaze glued to the floor but nevertheless feeling his eyes water with unshed tears as the floor blurred beneath him.

"Zoisite..." He heard Kunzite say, a murmur tempered with regret, and still that slight annoyance!

Is that it? Has he finally... tired of me?

He looked up, amazed that his tears had disappeared and forcing a rather sly grin to cover his emotions. "I'll be in the training room if you need me for anything, Kunzite-sama."

Kunzite's eyes were a bit surprised, and then they darkened.

Zoisite smiled once more and teleported away.

* * * *

He is... at the lake again.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

There is no answer, just the echoing silence around him. There is never any wind in his dreams, just a deep silence, almost like... death. He sighs, trying to break it, and sits down on his favorite log to watch the cherry blossoms fall.

"Zoisite?"

He looks up, startled, when he hears Kunzite's voice, but instead Nephrite is standing next to him, looking down at him with a rather confused expression.

Nephrite sits down, and then looks at him again. "What am I doing here?"

Zoisite shrugs. "I never know what's going on in this place. It never seems to make any sense anyway."

Nephrite nods, but then he looks at Zoisite and his eyes darken as if something has just occurred to him..

"I'm dead, you know."

Zoisite stares at him.

"How can you be dead if I'm talking to you?"

"You were the one that killed me... weren't you?"

Zoisite's eyes widen. "Why would I do that?"

Nephrite shrugs, but then his eyes become distant as he stares out at the lake. "I wanted to tell you something... but I can't remember what it was."

Zoisite smiles at his old friend, then shakes his head. Why couldn't he remember anything? "It doesn't matter now. It's good to see you again... It's been awhile."

Nephrite nods, grinning at him, and then puts one arm around him and rests his head against Zoisite's shoulder. "I missed you too, Zoi-chan."

They sit in silence for awhile, and then Nephrite grins. "Oh! I remember what it was that I wanted to tell you!"

Zoisite smiles at his friend's enthusiasm. "Well? Spit it out!"

"I wanted to apologize. For all of that stuff I did. We can be friends now, can't we? Now that I've apologized?"

Zoisite frowns. For some reason, the silence around them has become a howling wind...

* * * *

Zoisite sat straight up in bed, his breathing labored, his face covered in a sheen of sweat. We can be friends now, can't we?

"Oh, gods... Nephrite."

He remembered. Dear gods, he remembered.

"What have I done?"

His voice was a quiet whisper in the dark, and as he reached out for the comforting presence of Kunzite beside him, he felt only cold sheets. The bed hadn't been touched except by him.

"Oh, please... I don't want to be alone right now! Not now, please!"

You're not alone, Zoisite. I'm still here.

"Where is he?"

He's busy. He's been busy a lot recently, you know. I wonder why?

"You're not helping."

And neither are you. What exactly have you done to ensure that we will get the ginzuishou before they do? You should be finding those crystals instead of pining over your past, Zoisite.

"My past? But Kunzite isn't-"

He will be if you keep this up. You are acting unforgivably weak, Zoisite. Perhaps if you actually come through with your promises, he will get around to desiring you again.

Zoisite felt the almost bitter presence of Metallia dissipate after these words pierced his mind, and he fell back onto the pillows, tears stinging his eyes. He would do anything right now to have Kunzite with him, to have Kunzite's arms around him... anything.

But Kunzite was nowhere to be found. He couldn't even feel his presence... perhaps he had blocked it off or something. Zoisite felt his lower lip tremble, his jaw ache and his eyes sting with tears again. There was no one around... it wouldn't matter if he cried now.

A sob broke through the stillness and quiet around him, and he soon realized that once he had started he couldn't stop. His breath was heaving, all of his emotions and doubts and worries coming to the fore and spilling out as though a dam had broken within him. He was rocking back and forth, his hands covering his face, sitting in a broken posture that would have melted the hardest of hearts.

But there was no one there to see him, or hear him, or to feel pity for him. He was alone. His harsh sobs echoed throughout the empty room, and eventually the pitiful sound of his own misery lulled him back to sleep.

He didn't dream after that.

* * * * *

When Zoisite opened his eyes, he felt the most awful splitting pain in his skull. It was as though he'd been ripped apart while he slept. He groaned, clutching his head in his hands and rolling over in agony.

The night before came back to him in a rush. Sobbing, weeping until his own moans of despair became a lullaby and he fell asleep in their embrace. Feeling that awful fear in the pit of his stomach that Kunzite had left him for good... Kunzite... where could he be?

Looking up, Zoisite saw that the bed beside him was untouched. Kunzite had not come at all that night.

Now, along with the sorrow, Zoisite felt a sudden, biting fear. Where the hell was he? What right did he have to keep Zoisite waiting for him like this, without a word? Is this what Nephrite felt when I left him for Kunzite? he wondered.

"Nephrite..."

The dream came back to him as he sat up in bed, the sheets puddling around his waist. It... it couldn't be true, could it? Why couldn't he remember any of it...

"Zoisite."

Zoisite turned, startled, when he heard Kunzite's voice. He hadn't even felt the other come in, but there he was, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed; a posture that Zoisite had learned to decipher as impatience. His face reddened, but the anger of being left alone the night before was still so strong within him... he couldn't give Kunzite the smile he knew that he should. Not unless he wanted to lose his soul completely.

"You never came back last night," he said quietly, looking down at the sheets below him, unable to meet Kunzite's eyes. He could feel Kunzite staring at him but didn't dark look up, for fear that Kunzite would see the veil of tears in his own.

"Yes? And?"

Zoisite clenched his fists, infuriated by Kunzite's nonchalant tone as well as his continued annoyance. What was there to be annoyed about? What, did he think Zoisite nothing more than a pretty lover, good in bed but boring beyond that? He raised his eyes to meet Kunzite's, glaring and wincing inwardly as a tear escaped one eye and slid down his cheek. Kunzite's eyes widened, his entire face softening as he saw this, his surprise evident.

"And?" cried Zoisite. "And, you sadistic bastard? I spent the entire night here alone, bawling my eyes out! Did you know I had a dream about Nephrite? He was asking me to forgive him. God! If only I'd listened to you and let him live I wouldn't feel this way! And you left me! I was all alone! You promised me that you would always protect me... well, who's going to protect me from you?! You're the only one who can really hurt me anymore and you use that fact to your goddamned advantage whenever you can!"

Zoisite had to look away, his eyes filling with tears again, covering his face and desperately trying to hide his tears though he knew that they were obvious. His chest was heaving with his sobs, his head throbbing and his throat dry from the night before. Only vaguely did he realize it when the bed shifted from added weight, and Kunzite's arms wrapped around him from behind. He turned without thinking, burying his face in Kunzite's shoulder and letting all of his fears, his dashed hopes, his banished dreams out at once. When his breathing calmed a bit, he heard Kunzite speaking to him. He hadn't realized it but Kunzite had been speaking for some time....

"...never realized that could be so hurt... I thought you didn't care..."

Zoisite looked up at Kunzite tearfully to find him staring into space, his arms never loosening. Reluctantly, his gaze again fell on Zoisite.

"What do you mean...?"

Kunzite sighed, his eyes darkening. "Zoisite, everyone knew that you were in love with Nephrite... I only wish I'd had the courage to tell you before you killed him. I tried, but..."

"In love with... Nephrite?" Zoisite stared at him. No... he knew that wasn't true. He might have had a vague recollection of Nephrite as a caring person, but his love for Kunzite was the only thing he did remember, the only thing he was sure of. Why else would he have stayed in the Dark Kingdom, and faced all of those horrors, if not for him? He had the sudden urge to laugh, but the seriousness of Kunzite's expression stopped him.

"Kunzite-sama... I never loved Nephrite."

Kunzite stared at him, and then sighed. "You don't remember it, I know. But I remember; it was the only day I lost control, when I found out you were sleeping with him, and in my shameful rage I needlessly killed a youma. You cared for each other so much... but I knew when you came to me that day that it was the influence of the crystal that made you hate Nephrite, and made you..." He broke off, not finishing the sentence, and his eyes became guarded again. "I should have told you sooner, but I... I wanted you..." His last words were a whisper, "...for myself." Now he looked away, ashamed, and Zoisite stared at him as his tears dried and his anger was forgotten. Kunzite... wanted him? Wanted him enough to feel ashamed about tricking him?

But Kunzite hadn't tricked him. His love for Kunzite had existed from the first moment they had met. He knew that wasn't a lie. It was written in his heart rather than his mind; a place that the evil of the Dark Kingdom couldn't touch.

"Kunzite-sama, I..."

"No, please- you don't have to say anything. I knew that you were all alone in this place after Metallia's powers changed your love for Nephrite into hate. I knew it would happen when you knelt before her and touched the crystal for the first time, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. And when you killed him, I knew that you would regret it. I wanted him dead, yes, but not by your hand. I wanted to at least spare you that pain."

"Spare me pain?" Zoisite looked at Kunzite incredulously, "But then, why have you been treating me like you hate me?" Zoisite felt his anger surge up again, and Kunzite placed two fingers to his lips and silenced him.

"I don't hate you, Zoisite... I-" he broke off, searching for the proper words, "I need you. This place, it is no longer bearable without you. I've never needed someone so much, and it angers me. It frustrates me that I can't face this place on my own, just as you can't. What I was acting on was frustration with myself, not with you."

Zoisite felt his heart flutter at those words. Kunzite needed him. It could be the same as love, couldn't it?

If you want to call it that...

Zoisite shook his head to try and silence Metallia as he leaned forward and cupped Kunzite's cheek with one hand, looking up into those guarded silver eyes. No... Kunzite was wrong. Zoisite loved him, not Nephrite, and it had always been that way. Metallia couldn't change that no matter what she did or said.

"Is that the only reason?" he asked quietly, knowing very well that it wasn't. Kunzite looked away, closing his eyes exquisitely.

"No. I- I also worry about you. You always seem to care so little about your worst enemies. Nephrite could very well have killed you if you hadn't been so careful, and your attitude about these Senshi borders on suicidal. I can't bear the thought of this place without you, Zoisite. That is perhaps the worst revelation of all."

Zoisite frowned, and then leaned forward to pull Kunzite's face back to his own and kiss him gently. Kunzite seemed surprised at this gesture, but returned his affection with that same fervor he always had to Zoisite's attentions. Zoisite leaned against him for support, tasting the salt of his own tears on Kunzite's lips, and when he pulled away Kunzite wiped Zoisite's cheeks with his thumb and stared at his tears in mute fascination.

"Amazing... how you can feel so much at one moment and feel so little at another. You never cried over Nephrite..."

"I did last night," Zoisite admitted, and he thought he heard Kunzite sigh. It was so light that it could have been something else.

"I am sorry that I was not here to comfort you, Zoisite. I owe you that much, after all I've done..."

Zoisite wrapped his arms around Kunzite's waist and hugged him fiercely, trying to stifle the almost forlorn tone of his voice as he spoke.

"Please, don't speak on it any more, Kunzite-sama. I can't bear to hear your voice when it is so sad..." he whispered. Kunzite looped one arm around him loosely and merely held Zoisite as a few more tears escaped his eyes. Tears of regret, of anger, of fear...

No. Tuxedo Kamen was not going to take all of this away from him. He would somehow get rid of that overdressed peacock. He just needed a plan...


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